Grounding Exercise

This grounding exercise is really helpful if you’re anxious or feeling overwhelmed by life. It can be used to keep you alert, to return to the present after some fantasy or imaging, or as a way of dealing with negative experiences.

Sit upright in a supportive chair, and take a few deep breaths.

  • Become aware of the soles of your feet in contact with the floor.
  • Guide your attention to the chair, feel it touching your body.
  • Tell yourself, ‘I am safe, and no harm is happening to me’.
  • Become aware of what you hear around you, continuing to feel your feet in contact with the floor.
  • Become aware of what you see around you that is pleasant and interesting.
  • Remind yourself that you are safe, and stay aware of your feet on the ground.

Now, move your focus to what is happening in your body. Remain aware of your feet on the ground, and remind yourself that you are safe.

  • Become aware of any tension in your body.
  • Become aware of any emotions related to that tension.
  • Still feel the soles of your feet on the ground, remember you are safe.

Finally, move your awareness to the most relaxed place in your body and remain in your chair for as long as you need. You then might like to move into a more comfortable place and listen to some relaxing music.

Note: Breathing apps can also be helpful, see here.

BBC Headroom

I’m a great supporter of the BBC and all the services it provides (advert free) funded by a licence fee, one which is fantastic value for money. BBC Headroom (an excellent example) is a mental health toolkit, a site that’s especially important with all the current challenges created by the coronavirus lockdown.

We know we can’t solve all your troubles, but we can give you tools to help.

Whether it is everyday tips, sounds to relax your mind, strategies to cope with parenting right now or films to get you talking, we are here to help you look after yourself and your loved ones.

It’s a really helpful site, one that’s well browsing. Lockdown or not, we all need to look after our mental health and wellbeing. So, why not check out these great resources?

Caring (F. R. Scott)

Caring is loving, motionless,
An interval of more or less
Between the stress and the distress.

After the present falls the past,
After the festival, the fast.
Always the deepest is the last.

This is the circle we must trace,
Not spiralled outward, but a space
Returning to its starting place.

Centre of all we mourn and bless,
Centre of calm, beyond excess,
Who cares for caring, has caress.

F. R. Scott (1899-1985)

What is Labyrinthitis?

https://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Labyrinthitis/

I was scared to death when I woke up yesterday morning at about 5.00 am with my vision spinning, nausea and sweating. I later found out from my GP son Philip that it was labyrinthitis, something I knew very little about at the time. It struck totally without warning and was very scary.

I spent yesterday in bed, the head spinning episodes were practically non-stop and very debilitating, I was often sick and couldn’t keep fluids down, and this was often associated with sweating.

I’m really pleased with my recovery today, I expected another day in bed. I’ve been up and about, eaten some food, drunk plenty of fluids, and no longer have the nausea or sweating.

The condition usually improves on its own. There is medicine, but I was advised only to have this if it got worse or I didn’t get better.

Having experienced it personally I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. But hopefully, if you get this in the middle of the night you won’t panic like I did. Click on the link above to find out more.

25/09/20 Update: I had a bit of a setback yesterday, feeling washed out today with occasional dizziness and head spinning. I’ve had a good telephone consultation with my doctor and he’s prescribed medicine to relieve symptoms, but only if I need them in severity. Naomi telephoned the surgery for me and told the receptionist what I’d got. “Has he got a sore throat?” “No, why should he?” “Well, he’s got laryngitis!” Oh, how we laughed!

27/09/20 Update: First time dressed and out of the house since Monday (six days ago). A little walk round the block. Still unsteady, but confident enough to go out.

30/09/20 Update: I’m finding that the unsteadiness returns if I overdo it, but balance is very quickly restored by the simple act of sitting down on the sofa for 10-15 minutes.

02/10/20 Update: I’ve been driving again for a few days now, being careful of course. In these first two days of October I’ve experienced a real sense of improvement, although there’s still a way to go.

09/10/20 Update: I’ve had a bit of a setback in the last few days, but overall, I’m on the mend. Rest helps, but not bed rest, as being up and about exercises the brain and encourages recovery.

18/10/20 Update: It’s been nearly four weeks since the onset of labyrinthitis and I still get some mild symptoms, although nothing that can’t be managed. Unfortunately, stress and tiredness can aggravate the symptoms.

27/10/20 Update: Five weeks since the onset and I’m finally symptom free.

Steady – Breathing Exercises App

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There’s a lot of anxiety and other mental health concerns around at the moment related to the coronavirus pandemic lockdown, and so anything that can help us is welcome.

Steady is an Android app that I’ve started using on my smartphone. I recently came across this recommended app in a magazine and expected to have to pay for it, but it’s free with no adverts.

Breathing exercises are a really helpful way of relieving anxiety and stress, and this app helps you tackle your anxiety. It also provides daily reminders and encouragement for hitting monthly goals and the like.

Note: I’ve discovered there’s also a free app (Insomnia) to help you sleep, this can be accessed via the above app.

Update January 2021: Although I’d been using this app regularly, it failed to work after an Android OS update, so now I’m using the equally excellent Breathly app.

A Year of Us (Naomi Ager)

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Naomi and I have been considering the adverse effect the coronavirus pandemic lockdown can have on couples, especially those (like us) with young children. I posted something to this effect on Facebook today, not because we had fallen out, but because we both recognise that couples need to work harder on their relationships in times of crisis. This is her guest post. Thank you Naomi, I love you.

I saw this book on Amazon and, given the stress we find ourselves under as a family, but more so as a couple in these days of lockdown, I thought engagement in a couple’s journal together might work in some way to deepen our connection and allow us to explore each other and not lose sight of ‘us’.

There’s always something else you can learn about the person you love whether you’ve been together for a week or 60 years. By sitting together each evening to explore the 365 interesting questions laid out in this book, I feel it will give us a beautiful insight into our hopes and dreams, as well as our most desperate needs that perhaps are going by the wayside right now.

I’m personally finding it difficult to do something as simple as engaging in meaningful conversation when the children have gone to bed. But, having explored this book prior to us starting it together, I think it will give us the opportunity to bring up issues whether deep and heartfelt or more whimsical in nature.

In this period of lockdown, it’s more important than ever to maintain healthy discussions as a couple and to ensure important things are openly talked about. Things such as family finance and sex life (for example) and hopes for now and the future when we are eventually released back into the big wide world again.

It’s also important to talk about our hobbies and interests with each other, and in turn to encourage the person we share our lives with and love with the things that interest them. I want to take even more of an interest and have a better understanding of what interests John. So maybe I’ll read up on stars, planets, space and the universe or listen to one of his weird and wonderful music albums.

Making time to talk about our interests outside of homeschooling the children and general survival at this time, in my opinion, can only solidify the foundation of our relationship and improve life massively, especially whilst living under such pressure.

I plan to share a lot of the daily questions with my friends on Facebook, so they too can sit with their other half, turn off the television, put pen to paper and learn a little more about each other.

Digital Wellbeing (Sue Thomas)

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Our lives crossed when I lived in Leicester and we’ve been Facebook friends since. Sue Thomas has some important things to say about digital wellbeing and I’m pleased she agreed to write a guest post for me. Her book is excellent, click here for details.

I have spent the last 15 years researching the connections between nature and our digital lives, trying to find out whether it is possible to get a real connection with nature through technology. After speaking with and studying many important thinkers in the technology industry, environmental psychology, design, and urban planning, I felt certain that it is.

At times, my findings have been seen as controversial, but today in the COVID-19 epidemic that has changed. Now, digital wellbeing is becoming a lifeline for people stuck indoors for days and weeks on end. Some of the techniques I learnt about, such as watching nature on screens, following wild animal webcams, and listening to recorded birdsong, are being recommended by health experts. More and more researchers now know that such activities reduce stress and anxiety. Even playing a video game with natural landscapes can promote mental wellbeing!

So here are a few tips to help you get the benefits of nature while you’re stuck indoors during the epidemic.

  1. First things first – what can you see from your windows? If nothing much, consider moving the furniture around. A good view of greenery, trees, or even just more sky, can slow your heart rate and help you relax.
  2. When you’re browsing through Instagram, don’t swipe too fast. Take a moment to stop and appreciate the breath-taking sunrises, evocative dusks, gorgeous landscapes and intoxicating blooms. Imagine the texture of those leaves and petals. Recall the scent of that bluebell wood. Remember running your fingers along the bark of that oak tree? The sensuous outdoors is right there in your phone.
  3. Choose a new wallpaper for your phone or computer screen. Research has shown that pictures of dense groups of leafy trees are very calming, so why not search for a jungle or forest? Then make sure you set time aside on a regular basis to just be with that image and sink into it, perhaps even meditate for a short while.
  4. Do you usually ignore your houseplants? Now you have the time to give them some love and be rewarded with a relaxing biophilic experience. Gently clean their leaves with cotton wool and warm water, make sure the pot is moist and they have the light level they need. Chat to them if you like. There are benefits for both of you.
  5. Search for recordings of birdsong. They are everywhere online but the BBC is a good place to start. If you can listen with headphones that’s even better. Just allow your senses to fill with the memories of all the times in the past when you have wandered through a wood, sat in the park or just been out in the garden, yet never paid proper attention to the birds. Now you have the time to do just that. Enjoy!

Other Information: Sue Thomas is the author of Nature and Wellbeing in the Digital Age, available from Amazon in Kindle and Paperback. Visit her Facebook Page. She’s also on Twitter: @suethomas and Instagram: Digital_Wellbeing.

Sue also blogs here: https://suethomasnet.wordpress.com

See also: Recognising Birdsong

Facing Challenges

adult aged baby care

The challenges we face at the moment are many and interconnected. They are shared challenges, yet deeply individual at the same time. I believe we’re all trying to do our best, whilst admitting the collective need to lower expectations of ourselves and others. Many things in this crisis are counterintuitive. like desiring human contact but needing to stay apart. It’s OK to admit we’re not OK, whilst at the same time supporting and encouraging others. We need each other more than ever in these hard times, we’re all hurting and struggling.

We’re learning valuable lessons about ourselves and discovering the things that are important for our emotional and mental wellbeing, our relationship values and working lives. I believe we’ll emerge from this stronger people, better able to take our place in a changing society. Stay strong and stay safe.

Social distance with emotional and spiritual connection.

Your Discomfort Is Grief

man in blue and brown plaid dress shirt touching his hair

We’re all finding life difficult at the moment in the current coronavirus pandemic, feeling overwhelmed and emotional, with so many questions.

A friend shared this article today and it rang a bell with me, it helped me to understand the struggle I’m having right now. The deep visceral emotions I’m experiencing are exactly those of grief, ones that resonate with what I felt (and to some extent still do) following the death of my mother last year.

But enough of me. Read this article for yourself, I’m sure you’ll find it helpful.

Harvard Business Review: That Discomfort You’re Feeling Is Grief

See also: The dominant emotion of 2021?

Should have gone to Specsavers!

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Those in the UK will readily appreciate the visual joke, but it clearly doesn’t take much working out. The title for this post is the tag line of adverts for the Specsavers chain of opticians and audiologists (yes, they do hearing tests as well).

It was over 10 years ago that I experienced a posterior vitreous detachment (PVD) in my right eye. This sounds serious, but it’s simply a condition where part of your vitreous gel comes away from the retina at the back of your eye. It can occur as part of the natural ageing process and causes no long term harm, although it’s vital it’s checked out because it can lead to more serious conditions. It was quite dramatic when it happened because I didn’t know what was going on, and it’s often associated with flashes in the peripheral vision, along with floaters and very tiny dots (red blood cells) in your vision. It all cleared up without any problems, although floaters are fact of life as you get older. Fortunately, the brain adapts and they become less obvious.

Just under 2 years ago, the same thing happened in my left eye. I was public speaking at the time, but this time I knew what was happening, so I just carried on. As soon as possible afterwards I attended the eye casualty department of my local hospital, and they confirmed what I thought had happened.

I’ve had some occasional problems with that eye ever since, and so when I booked my routine eye test I jumped at the chance to have an extended test (for £10) that examined the back of my eyes in far more detail. Everything was fine and I could read the line of letters below the one described as 20/20 vision, so I was a happy bunny and celebrated with a cappuccino at Costa Coffee next door!

I have to be vigilant though, the symptoms of PVD are similar to retinal detachment. So please have regular eye tests, as they can show up a whole variety of problems that can be dealt with early. Most importantly, if you suspect anything amiss (especially if something like a dark curtain comes across your vision), seek urgent medical attention immediately.

To look after your eyes on a day-to-day basis; make sure you keep well-hydrated, get plenty of sleep, and avoid stress. All of those things, of course, are good for your general health and wellbeing.