Featured

On Being an Older Father

39900405_224745505057336_6326152863235964928_n

Having two grown-up children and approaching sixty years of age, it never crossed my mind that I might become a father again; but that was until I met Naomi and a loving relationship developed, with the full knowledge that she wanted children (astute readers will have deduced she’s much younger than me).

Just over five years later, we are happily married with three wonderful children, and I’m the age in the title of a well-known Beatles’ song! Some might question the twenty-seven year age difference between us, but all I can say is that it works for us and we are a very happy and loving family.

When people find out I have three young children at my age, they say I’m either brave or stupid – possible even both, and I sometimes think that myself. Seriously though, I’m truly loving having the wonderful privilege and sacred responsibility of bringing up a family for the second time. Whilst having three children close together is not easy at times, I especially enjoy seeing the interactions between them (this is new for me as there are six years between my two older children).

It’s said that age is just a number and that you’re only as old as you feel, but clearly my age will increasingly be an issue as the years go by. Even though tomorrow is not guaranteed for anyone, statistically I won’t be around for as long as most parents could expect to be in the children’s future. On the other hand, people tell me I don’t look my age and I keep myself fit (mainly by healthy eating and running), and both my father and his father lived in relatively good health until their late 80s.

I remind myself regularly it’s the quality of the time I spend with my family that’s important for their personal development and formative years, and I’m making a special effort to live in the present and make the most of every moment; although I sometimes wonder how they will react when they’re old enough to realise I’m older than most other fathers. I’m certainly not going to have a ‘normal’ (if there is such a thing) retirement.

They say that inside every man is a nine-year-old boy constantly trying to get out, and that’s probably true, but I like to think my ‘advanced’ years have given me a measure of life experience and wisdom I didn’t have the first time around. Having said that, nothing really prepares you to be a parent, and so even second time around I’m realistic (and hopefully humble) enough to recognise I’m still learning and don’t have all the answers. Mind you, if you want an expert on wiping bums and changing nappies – I’m your man!

Christmas Thought Revisited

christmas-war-cry-2014

After his baptism, Jesus was tempted in the desert. This might seem a strange way to start a Christmas thought, in fact it’s not as strange as at first sight. The story concerns power, it’s about Jesus being tempted to exercise power over people; ultimately he chose the power of love over the love of power. I’m reminded of the words of Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace.

The simple message of Christmas is that God has chosen the way of love and vulnerability over power. A baby born in humble and vulnerable circumstances can’t exercise power, yet that was how Jesus came and lived.

The cover of the Christmas Salvation Army War Cry 2014 illustrates this beautifully; it’s a picture of vulnerability that sums up the incarnation in today’s world. Take a few moments to reflect on it.

The traditional story tells us how Jesus was placed in a feeding trough (manger from the French verb to eat), but in this modern nativity he’s placed in a familiar manger – a supermarket trolley! I’m not sure if this was intentional, but it caught my attention.

Finally, here’s something I read recently in the context of the feeling that Christ is being squeezed out of Christmas: The whole story of Advent is the story of how God can’t be kept out. God is present. God is with us. God shows up – not with a parade but with the whimper of a baby, not among the powerful but among the marginalized, not to the demanding but to the humble.

As we welcome Jesus this Christmas, we’re reminded that he entered our world as vulnerable as us; ultimately he nailed that vulnerability to a cross for us – all our fears, insecurities and sins. We can only marvel that he came in this way, reaching out to a world in need.