Grounding Exercise

This grounding exercise is really helpful if you’re anxious or feeling overwhelmed by life. It can be used to keep you alert, to return to the present after some fantasy or imaging, or as a way of dealing with negative experiences.

Sit upright in a supportive chair, and take a few deep breaths.

  • Become aware of the soles of your feet in contact with the floor.
  • Guide your attention to the chair, feel it touching your body.
  • Tell yourself, ‘I am safe, and no harm is happening to me’.
  • Become aware of what you hear around you, continuing to feel your feet in contact with the floor.
  • Become aware of what you see around you that is pleasant and interesting.
  • Remind yourself that you are safe, and stay aware of your feet on the ground.

Now, move your focus to what is happening in your body. Remain aware of your feet on the ground, and remind yourself that you are safe.

  • Become aware of any tension in your body.
  • Become aware of any emotions related to that tension.
  • Still feel the soles of your feet on the ground, remember you are safe.

Finally, move your awareness to the most relaxed place in your body and remain in your chair for as long as you need. You then might like to move into a more comfortable place and listen to some relaxing music.

Note: Breathing apps can also be helpful, see here.

BBC Headroom

I’m a great supporter of the BBC and all the services it provides (advert free) funded by a licence fee, one which is fantastic value for money. BBC Headroom (an excellent example) is a mental health toolkit, a site that’s especially important with all the current challenges created by the coronavirus lockdown.

We know we can’t solve all your troubles, but we can give you tools to help.

Whether it is everyday tips, sounds to relax your mind, strategies to cope with parenting right now or films to get you talking, we are here to help you look after yourself and your loved ones.

It’s a really helpful site, one that’s well browsing. Lockdown or not, we all need to look after our mental health and wellbeing. So, why not check out these great resources?

Social Distancing Reflections

There are so many health benefits of human contact and hugs, and these benefits have been denied many during the current coronavirus pandemic. In addition, dating for single people is fraught with difficulties, and it’s a total nightmare for tactile individuals.

As Virgina Satir, a respected family therapist said, “We need four hugs a day for survival. We need eight hugs a day for maintenance. We need twelve hugs a day for growth.” It concludes that hugs are having a great role in improving our life’s quality. In addition, hugs also have many health benefits you have never expected before. Source

You can easily find out more by clicking on the above link (and Google is your friend), and it’s well worth doing so. I might blog about it sometime, but it’s not the main subject of this post.

One friend commented that being safe (in lockdown) isn’t the same as being alive, because alive isn’t the same as thrive. I know that many can identify with this inability to thrive in lockdown. She also said, “I’ve never felt so alone in my entire life. I’m losing both good and bad parts of me. I’ll never be the same after this”.

Since the start of pandemic I’ve been reflecting on how social distancing might affect our long-term human interaction, especially with strangers. Initially, I discouraged handshaking in Wallsend Corps, greeting each other by touching elbows. This was met with a mixture of amusement and anxiety, the latter due to the uncertainly of what the future might hold, but it wasn’t long before the first lockdown was announced.

A phrase I coined at the start of the pandemic was: Social distance with emotional and spiritual connection. If I could go back twelve months I would change it to: Physical distance with emotional and spiritual connection, as this better reflects my considered thoughts. We need all the social connection we can get within the restrictions. But laptops, tablets and Zoom meetings have their obvious limitations, we need actual human contact to thrive. That said, video calls have been a lifesaver for many.

Another friend said, “Our [adult] son has profound and multiple learning disabilities including autism. He is in a care home. He is non-verbal and touch is how he communicates whether it’s to hug you, hit you or take you to something he wants. Needless to say social distancing hasn’t been good for him. When he sees us to wants to come over to us but can’t. Socially distanced walks with a carer bringing him in the wheelchair to make sure we don’t get close to him is the best way to deal with. Once when on the walks he tried reaching out to stroke a dog that came up to but had to be pulled away. When the dog came up it was lovely to see his smile but heart breaking to see his disappointment when he wasn’t allowed to touch the dog. I dread to think how all this is affecting him long term. However one lovely thing when we’ve done video calls with us, he will touch the screen to acknowledge us.”

I’m not coming to an overall conclusion, but these are personal reflections. We all know how physical distancing is affecting us and our loved ones, but we can’t be sure of the long-term effects. Will we remain ‘distant’ from others, even when we go back to some sort of normality? Reaching out to others, with its associated physical contact, is vital for us to thrive individually and collectively. May we never lose this.

Finding Peace in Five Verses

Just a simple (yet hopefully profound) Sunday devotional today. It’s based on five Bible verses shared in a recent newsletter from Our Daily Bread Ministries.

The newsletter reminds us that we live in anxious and uncertain times (not that we need reminding) and that peace can seem like a rare commodity. God’s peace is something completely different and reliable though.

It’s suggested that when we need to experience his peace, we dedicate some time to meditate and reflect on these five verses. I would also add that you might like to consider them in context, as this is always important in our reading of God’s word. So, why not find a quiet place, and immerse yourself in these verses?

In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, Lord, make me dwell in safety.
Psalm 4:8
You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you. 
Isaiah 26:3
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
John 14:27
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:6-7
Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.
Colossians 3:15

Prayer: Peace to you from God who is our Father. Peace from Jesus Christ who is our peace. Peace from the Holy Spirit who gives us life. The peace of the triune God be always with you. Amen.

You might also find this post helpful: Be still, and know (Will J Brand)

The Letter of Joy (Chapter 4)

The Letter of Paul to the Philippians in the Bible is characterised by joy, it contains the word (in its various forms) some 16 times within its four chapters. I’m featuring it in my Sunday devotionals through January 2021. You can read my introduction here with other links.

You can read Chapter 4 by clicking here.

In this final chapter of his letter to the Philippian church, Paul makes a closing appeal for steadfastness and unity: Therefore, my brothers and sisters, you whom I love and long for, my joy and crown, stand firm in the Lord in this way, dear friends!

Having spoken generally in Chapter 2 about humbly having the mind of Christ, he pleads specifically with Euodia and Syntyche to be reconciled after an argument.

I plead with Euodia and I plead with Syntyche to be of the same mind in the Lord. Yes, and I ask you, my true companion, help these women since they have contended at my side in the cause of the gospel, along with Clement and the rest of my co-workers, whose names are in the book of life. Philippians 4:2-3

This is followed by one of my favourite Bible passages, one I often use in pastoral ministry: Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:4-7

Paul goes on: Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me – put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. Philippians 4:8-9

These verses always make me smile when I read them, because Paul comes across as a little boastful about his Christian life. Clearly, this isn’t the case, especially because he’s been writing about humility and only boasting in the Lord in this very letter. It does remind us, though, that we have to be careful how we come across to others – arrogant, judgemental, and ‘holier than thou’ Christians do not serve Jesus well, they turn people off God.

In verses 11-13 Paul shows he’s learnt some important life lessons, that we should take on board: […] I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

In his final greetings, Paul thanks the Christians for their gifts. He speaks of them as a fragrant offering, an acceptable sacrifice, pleasing to God. He reminds them God will meet all their needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.

In conclusion, we are reminded that we can make a gift of our lives to God and others, a fragrant offering, an acceptable sacrifice, pleasing to God.

The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit. Amen.

The Letter of Joy (Introduction)

The Letter of Joy (Chapter 1)

The Letter of Joy (Chapter 2)

The Letter of Joy (Chapter 3)

Spook the Herd

Spook the Herd is an elegant and eloquent album by British indie rock band Lanterns on the Lake, one that has been described as a soundtrack for the age of anxiety. It’s one of my favourite albums of 2020.

Although this is their fourth studio album, I’ve not come across them before, despite living just down the road from their home of Newcastle for five years. They’ve been gracefully holding up a mirror to the world for a while, their music reflecting northern communities in decay and the effects of austerity, with calls for both to be resisted, for example.

This album touches on addiction, division, bereavement, social media, the environmental crisis, and climate change, with a reminder to make the most of what we can, while we can. Empowerment and love are key to the challenges we face, changing ourselves and changing the world. This is a thoughtful and reflective album, expressed beautifully.

This is one of a number of albums I’ve discovered this year because they were nominated for the Mercury Prize 2020.

You can see all my favourite 2020 albums by clicking here.

Eine Phase des Übergangs

I marked this album by Martin Neuhold as a favourite on its release in March 2020. My initial view has been confirmed on repeated listens, the latest being today (Thursday 22 October 2020).

The title means A Period of Transition, a title that’s very apt for me this year, one in which I’ve retired and moved to a new house. With the coronavirus pandemic having affected us all since March 2020 (and likely to for the foreseeable future), I guess we’re all in our own period of transition.

You can see all my favourite 2020 albums by clicking here.

Fragility (Kevin Buckland)

This remarkable album by my friend Kevin Buckland is one of my favourites of 2020. Kevin provides very little information on the album’s Bandcamp page, other than it was recorded live to cassette tape.

The album has a lo-fi sound, and it simply oozes fragility and vulnerability. I can quite imagine the album as a film soundtrack to create a particular mood. Although released before the coronavirus pandemic, it reflects powerfully the uncertain times in which we live.

You can see all my favourite 2020 albums by clicking here.

What is Labyrinthitis?

https://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Labyrinthitis/

I was scared to death when I woke up yesterday morning at about 5.00 am with my vision spinning, nausea and sweating. I later found out from my GP son Philip that it was labyrinthitis, something I knew very little about at the time. It struck totally without warning and was very scary.

I spent yesterday in bed, the head spinning episodes were practically non-stop and very debilitating, I was often sick and couldn’t keep fluids down, and this was often associated with sweating.

I’m really pleased with my recovery today, I expected another day in bed. I’ve been up and about, eaten some food, drunk plenty of fluids, and no longer have the nausea or sweating.

The condition usually improves on its own. There is medicine, but I was advised only to have this if it got worse or I didn’t get better.

Having experienced it personally I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. But hopefully, if you get this in the middle of the night you won’t panic like I did. Click on the link above to find out more.

25/09/20 Update: I had a bit of a setback yesterday, feeling washed out today with occasional dizziness and head spinning. I’ve had a good telephone consultation with my doctor and he’s prescribed medicine to relieve symptoms, but only if I need them in severity. Naomi telephoned the surgery for me and told the receptionist what I’d got. “Has he got a sore throat?” “No, why should he?” “Well, he’s got laryngitis!” Oh, how we laughed!

27/09/20 Update: First time dressed and out of the house since Monday (six days ago). A little walk round the block. Still unsteady, but confident enough to go out.

30/09/20 Update: I’m finding that the unsteadiness returns if I overdo it, but balance is very quickly restored by the simple act of sitting down on the sofa for 10-15 minutes.

02/10/20 Update: I’ve been driving again for a few days now, being careful of course. In these first two days of October I’ve experienced a real sense of improvement, although there’s still a way to go.

09/10/20 Update: I’ve had a bit of a setback in the last few days, but overall, I’m on the mend. Rest helps, but not bed rest, as being up and about exercises the brain and encourages recovery.

18/10/20 Update: It’s been nearly four weeks since the onset of labyrinthitis and I still get some mild symptoms, although nothing that can’t be managed. Unfortunately, stress and tiredness can aggravate the symptoms.

27/10/20 Update: Five weeks since the onset and I’m finally symptom free.

Reasons to Stay Alive (Matt Haig)

I’m keeping a record of the books I read in my retirement and blogging about them. This is the second one, you can read about the first one here. You can find me on Goodreads (click the link), and see all my 2020 books here.

I can’t remember how this excellent book by Matt Haig came to be on my reading list, but I’m really glad it was. Reasons to Stay Alive is a genre-straddling book; partly an overview of depression and anxiety, partly a self-help resource, but (uniquely) a deeply personal memoir that is totally open and honest. It describes how Matt Haig came through crisis, triumphed over a mental illness that almost destroyed him and learned to live again (back cover).

This is a book for everyone, it overflows with the joys of living and making the most of your time on earth. It oozes humanity from every page and adds impetus to the current trend for removing the societal stigma attached to mental illness. In Matt’s willing vulnerability comes his strength.

Note: Matt shares lots of valuable insights on Twitter and you can follow him here. Other books by Matt Haig are available.