Facing Challenges

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The challenges we face at the moment are many and interconnected. They are shared challenges, yet deeply individual at the same time. I believe we’re all trying to do our best, whilst admitting the collective need to lower expectations of ourselves and others. Many things in this crisis are counterintuitive. like desiring human contact but needing to stay apart. It’s OK to admit we’re not OK, whilst at the same time supporting and encouraging others. We need each other more than ever in these hard times, we’re all hurting and struggling.

We’re learning valuable lessons about ourselves and discovering the things that are important for our emotional and mental wellbeing, our relationship values and working lives. I believe we’ll emerge from this stronger people, better able to take our place in a changing society. Stay strong and stay safe.

Social distance with emotional and spiritual connection.

 

Food Management in a Pandemic

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One of the things that’s lifting my spirit and keeping me motivated in these difficult times is buying, preparing and cooking food for my family, Healthy, nutritious meals are important for all of us, especially my three young children. Please don’t neglect to eat properly, and avoid the temptation to snack all day.

Unfortunately, as we all know, shopping online is nigh on impossible at the moment, and we need to restrict our visits to the shops to reduce the spread of the coronavirus and keep everyone safe. Also, just because we can go shopping every day doesn’t mean we have to. Every trip out carries its own risks, even if we are social distancing.

Now, this may seem over the top, but it works for me. I keep a simple page-a-day notebook in which I record the ‘best before’ dates of all the fresh food that I buy (usually once every three days). The non-perishable stuff (pasta and tinned food, for example) doesn’t matter, that’s there in the cupboard when I need it, hopefully.

Each day I simply look at what needs eating and decide on my menu from that. Simple, but effective, and very little waste. What are you doing differently in this crisis? Do share your tips for everyone.

Note: Posting on the blog/website is also helping to keep me sane in this crisis and I hope you’re finding my thoughts helpful.

Mother’s Day 2020

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I hadn’t been looking forward to leading two worship services on Mother’s Day this year, because it would have been my first after her death last year. In fact, I hadn’t really given my preparation much thought, possibly secretly hoping that it would go away. Not only did the thought of it awaken some powerful emotions that continue to lie barely below the surface of my day-to-day life, but there’s the ongoing emptiness of loss combined with the strange feeling of ‘lostness’ that occurs after the death of both parents, which may be magnified in me because I’m an only child of only children.

So there’s a sense of relief I’ll not have to minister to others in public on this sensitive occasion because of the coronavirus pandemic. But clearly, I’d rather have had my vulnerability and emotions laid bare than being in this current health crisis. Equally, I’ve discovered over the years that my ‘wearing my heart on my sleeve’ nature has been used by God in Christian ministry to bring comfort and strength to others, a very humbling experience. Central to my faith is the vulnerability of Jesus, demonstrated powerfully in his willingness to suffer and die. This reminds me that emotional openness and vulnerability must never be confused with weakness, for in our weakness we can be strong.

For this year, that’s all I’m going to say. I’ll leave others to share their thoughts, emotions and spiritual insights on Mother’s Day, and I’ll be pleased to read and share them.

Note: The photo of my mother and daughter Pollyanna was taken in 2018.

Freddy’s 5th Birthday Party

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Welcome to my world of children’s birthday parties, a place I didn’t expect to be inhabiting in my 60s, but that’s how life turns out sometimes. With two grown-up children and two grandchildren, how did this happen? I retire later this year!

That said, I’m loving being a father to three small children (Matilda is three and Pollyanna two) and it also keeps me young and active.

We decided to change the venue for the party at short notice because of a Coronavirus outbreak. The Parks was an excellent alternative venue, with a soft play area and party room. We used the Golden Chippy (our local fish and chip shop) for catering, even though it was four miles away from the venue, because we had 100% confidence that our order for pizzas (and other bits and pieces) would be ready at the exact time we wanted. They didn’t let us down.

Before the party, Freddy helped me compile a Spotify playlist for the occasion. If you’re interested you can find it here.

All things considered, it was an excellent party. A big thank you to my lovely wife Naomi for all the hard work preparing and delivering it, and for all that was involved in changing our plans at the last minute. I just did all the running around, fetching and carrying, and being silly with the children.

Thank you everyone for coming and for Freddy’s lovely cards and presents. We’ve got the children bathed and in bed now, so we’re both ready to relax.

See also here (from 2018) On Being an Older Father

Coronavirus Disruption

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We found out this morning that the venue we’d booked for Freddy’s 5th birthday party had a confirmed case of coronavirus. What should we do?

The venue was very helpful on the telephone and understood our predicament, accepting that we may have to cancel and make alternative plans. They’ve been told they can continue as normal, but they’re doing a deep clean today to reassure staff and customers.

We don’t want to panic and add to the problem, but what if parents and grandparents don’t turn up with their children and grandchildren? The current government policy is to contain and delay the inevitable outbreak as long as possible, so should we plan for later in the year?

Given that I’m in a high-risk category (my age, asthma and prone to chest infections), as well as the fact that others in the same situation will be there, should we make alternative plans?

Update: I guess this is the type of dilemma we’re all going have to face in one way or another in the coming days. In the end, we decided to make alternative plans, and I’m so grateful that my wife Naomi is dealing with all of the arrangements.

See also here: Freddy’s 5th Birthday Party

 

Dear friends…

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I completely and passionately remain (did you see what I did there?) of the view that the decision of the UK to leave the EU is fatally flawed. I believe some dark forces have been at work, and feel (like many Remainers) that something of my identity has been taken away. Passions run high.

But things have changed, Brexit is happening and the legal process of leaving has begun, although the full effects will not be felt until the end of the transition period in eleven months time.

It was a divisive referendum in 2016 and continues to be a bitter debate which has divided friends and split families, but now is the time for us all to come together and start healing those divisions.

It’s not the outcome I wanted, but both Leavers and Remainers need to take positive steps to understand each other and work together for the common good, because we all want what’s best for the UK.

I apologise if any of my comments or posts have caused offence over the last few years, and I hope for a similar response from others. My views haven’t changed, I need to remain true to myself, but let’s all agree to disagree agreeably and move forward together. After all, relationships are what life is ultimately about.

PS – I’ll try very hard not to say ‘I told you so’ when things go wrong, but I can’t promise. We’re all human. John.

No one wants a slow watch!

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No one wants a slow watch, or do they? In our busy world, maybe we need to think again about the meaning of time and how we can best live in the present. The present is the only time we’re given to live in, the past has gone and the future is not guaranteed.

Last year (as our family is now complete and we’d celebrated our fifth wedding anniversary) I decided to buy Naomi an eternity ring, and because she knew I’d had my eye on a Slow Watch for a while, she bought me the watch in the photograph as an early retirement present (I retire in July this year).

I’ve had an app called TerraTime Pro on my mobile for a while now, and this has the concept of an hour hand that rotates once every twenty-four hours, rather than once every twelve hours. The idea is to reconnect with the rhythms of earth and sun, night and day, moon and stars. This is also the concept behind the one-hand of the Slow Watch.

A Slow Watch allows you to see the entire day in one view and experience time in a natural way. It fundamentally changes the way you look at your watch and gives a much better consciousness about the progression of the day. With only one glance at the watch, I get a good orientation of where I am in the day. Taking a closer look, I get a precise enough indication of the time.

This way of showing the time is inspired by the original clocks that were based on the sun clock. Those early clocks had only one hand and displayed all twenty-four hours, and you can still see them on some old church towers.

In modern life it’s so easy to chase the minutes and get stressed by time, maybe we’d all benefit from turning back time and being slow again.

Mind you, I currently only tend to wear it on my day off or holidays. Perhaps I’ll wear it more when I retire.