Silent Joy in Grief

130824 Mum & Dad

My father (Fred) died on Wednesday 2 October 2013 at the age of 89, and my mother (Jean) on Sunday 26 May 2019 at the age of 94.

Special days and anniversaries still awaken powerful emotions which lie barely below the surface of my day-to-day life, along with the ongoing emptiness of loss. Additionally, this is combined with the strange feeling of ‘lostness’ that occurs after the death of both parents, a feeling which may be magnified for me because I’m an only child of only children.

I had the following words of Dietrich Bonhoeffer printed on the back of the order of service for both their funerals as they expressed something my family wanted to articulate. These words have become even more meaningful to me with the passing of time, and I hope you find them helpful as well.

There is nothing that can replace the absence of someone dear to us, and one should not even attempt to do so. One must simply hold out and endure it. At first that sounds very hard, but at the same time it is also a great comfort. For to the extent the emptiness truly remains unfilled one remains connected to the other person through it. It is wrong to say that God fills the emptiness. God in no way fills it but much more leaves it precisely unfilled and thus helps us preserve, even in pain, the authentic relationship. Further more, the more beautiful and full the remembrances, the more difficult the separation. But gratitude transforms the torment of memory into silent joy. One bears what was lovely in the past not as a thorn but as a precious gift deep within, a hidden treasure of which one can always be certain.

No Longer I? (Howard Webber)

No Longer I (Front)
No Longer I (Back)

I first met Howard Webber back in the 1970s while working in the Pathology Department of Northampton General Hospital and studying to become Medical Laboratory Scientific Officer. Howard was also in the same line of work and moved to Northampton to take up a position in the Biochemistry Department, the branch of pathology in which I had decided to specialise.

We soon realised that we were both Salvationists, and later discovered we also shared the call of God to change direction from our chosen careers to follow vocations as full-time Salvation Army Officers, ministers of religion appointed to corps (church) leadership or other areas of Christian ministry. We both took this step of faith independently, and the majority of both our working lives have been following this calling. Howard is now an officer in retirement like me.

The first part of Howard’s book ‘No Longer I?’ is a candid account of his rich and various experiences in corps life, along with his struggles in those situations (some intensely personal) and the eventual discovery of answers. The second part explores those issues in the light of scripture and is more devotional in style. Both parts work well together, as Howard describes and explores the ups and downs, the joys and the sorrows, on his own journey of faith. He tells it as it is, and I found his writing refreshingly open, honest and powerful.

Let me quote the opening paragraph: I have something I need to say before you go, ‘Miss Barrett called out as I closed the lounge door, so I opened it again and stepped back into the room. Following a brief preamble she got to the point of why she had called me back, ‘I need to tell you that you are the worst officer (minister) this corps (church) has ever had!’ Those harsh words of indictment, spoken in judgment at the end of his first appointment, set the tone for compelling lessons in practical Christian discipleship woven throughout the pages of the book.

This isn’t just a book for Salvationists, but one for anyone desiring to reach into the heart of Christian life and ministry.

Note: The title of the book comes from Paul’s Letter to the Galatians: I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me; and the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. (Galatians 2:20 RSV)

Uplifting Faith (Isaiah 46)

Isaiah 46 contains two sharply contrasting pictures; the first is of people carrying their god, the second one is of God carrying his people.

Isaiah can’t help smiling when he sees the shallow religion of the nations around Israel, what a miserable thing it must be to have a god who is a burden, who must be carried from place to place. So, he draws a humorous picture of a glittering god that looks great, but needs half a dozen men to carry it, a useless burden that weighs them down.

The second picture is of God our Heavenly Father, who carries his people from before birth, through life and past death into eternity.

Read: Isaiah 40:28-31

These two pictures represent two types of religion. On the one hand, one that must be carried, that’s a burden, that’s a duty, which weighs us down and wears us out. On the other hand, one that worships a God who upholds with his powerful arms, one that carries us, lifts us, lightens our spirits, and fills us with peace and joy.

I know which religion I prefer! Unfortunately, there are some Christians who choose the heavy, burdensome religion. Is it any wonder people reject it?

The disciples who met the Risen Jesus on the Emmaus Road recognised him when he broke bread. Their spirits were lifted: Were not our hearts burning within us while he talked with us on the road and opened the Scriptures to us? Luke 24:32

Commissioner Catherine Bramwell-Booth wrote:
Come, blessed Jesus, come;
Break bread again for me;
Lord open Thou my eyes that I
Thy living self may see.
Then joy shall fill my heart,
My strength be all renewed
To witness of Thy death and life,
By Thine own power endued.

As we open ourselves up to God our Heavenly Father, and as we come humbly into his presence, he lifts us up and fills us with his nature.

Let’s not be content with a religion of strain and struggle, fear and duty, heavy hearts, and clouded faces, when we can have a faith that carries our burdens, lightens our spirits, and fills us with love, joy, and peace.

True faith is attractive, it draws others to Christ. May we never turn anyone away because our religion is joyless, judgemental, and narrow. 1 John 5:3-4

Jesus condemned the religious leaders of his day because of the heavy loads they put on the people. Matthew 23:1-4

How refreshing, then, are the words of Jesus: Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. Matthew 11:28-30

May that be real in our lives, and may we share it with those around us, as we recognise the true nature of God our Heavenly Father.

A Focus on Forgiveness

In Matthew 18:21-35 the focus is on forgiveness, mercy, and the importance of compassion in interpersonal relationships.

The disciple Peter approaches Jesus with a question: “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” Peter’s question reflects the common rabbinic teaching of the time, which suggested forgiving someone up to three times. Peter, perhaps seeking to show great magnanimity, suggests forgiving up to seven times, thinking he is being generous.

Jesus responds with a profound lesson on forgiveness, saying, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.” This statement is not meant to be taken literally, but rather emphasises limitless forgiveness. Jesus is teaching that forgiveness shouldn’t be constrained by a specific number but should be extended generously and without bounds.

To illustrate this point further, Jesus tells a parable about a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. In this parable, the king represents God, and the servants symbolise humanity. One servant owes the king an enormous debt, an amount so vast that he could never hope to repay it. The servant pleads for mercy and time to repay the debt. Astonishingly, the king, moved by compassion, forgives the entire debt, cancelling it completely.

However, the forgiven servant encounters another servant who owes him a relatively small sum of money. Instead of showing the same compassion he received, the forgiven servant seizes his fellow servant and demands payment. When the fellow servant begs for mercy and time to repay, the forgiven servant refuses and has him thrown into prison.

Upon hearing of this, the king is furious. He calls the forgiven servant back and chastises him for not showing the same mercy he had received. The king then has the unforgiving servant thrown into prison until he can repay the massive debt he owed.

The parable concludes with Jesus delivering a powerful message: “So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.” This message underscores the importance of forgiveness in the Christian faith. Just as God forgives our sins, Christians are called to extend forgiveness to others.

This passage is a cornerstone of Christian ethics, teaching believers to forgive as they have been forgiven by God and to approach forgiveness with a generous and compassionate heart.

The Urgency of Love

Romans 13:8-14 addresses the concept of love, obedience to authority, and living in the light of Christ’s coming

The Apostle Paul imparts important teachings to the early Christin community in Rome. He begins with a powerful statement: “Owe no one anything except to love one another.” Here, Paul emphasizes the significance of love as the only debt Christians should have. Love, in the context of this passage, refers to the selfless, agape love that mirrors God’s love for humankind.

Paul then continues to emphasize the importance of fulfilling the commandments, particularly “You shall not commit adultery, you shall not murder, you shall not steal, you shall not covet,” and other commandments: all summed up in the love for one’s neighbour as oneself. He emphasizes that love is the fulfilment of the law, emphasizing that if one loves their neighbour, they won’t harm or wrong them.

The passage also touches on the idea of obedience to authority. Paul encourages believers to submit to governing authorities, as God has established these authorities to maintain order and justice in society. This aligns with the broader biblical theme of respecting earthly authorities while prioritising obedience to God’s ultimate authority.

Paul then shifts the focus to the urgency of the times, suggesting that the return of Jesus Christ is imminent. He calls on believers to live as if they are in the light of Christ, casting off the works of darkness and putting on the armour of light. This means leading lives characterized by righteousness and holiness, free from sinful behaviour and debauchery.

He advises believers to walk properly, as in the daytime, avoiding revelry, drunkenness, sexual immorality, and quarrelling. Instead, they should “put on the Lord Jesus Christ” and make no provision for the flesh, which implies that they should be spiritually vigilant and not give in to sinful desires.

This passage underscores the importance of love, both in interpersonal relationships and in fulfilling the commandments of God. It also emphasizes obedience to earthly authorities and the need to live a life of righteousness and holiness in anticipation of Christ’s return. It serves as a reminder to Christians of their responsibilities in the world and their hope in the future redemption through Jesus Christ.

Life Lessons from Romans 12:9-21

This Sunday Devotional follows on from my previous one and details important Christian life lessons from Romans 12:9-21.

The passage emphasizes the importance of sincere and authentic love. Believers are encouraged to love others genuinely, without any pretence or hidden motives. This love should be expressed through actions and should extend to both fellow believers and even those who may be considered enemies.

Believers are called to detest what is evil by refusing to participate in or condone anything that goes against God’s standards of righteousness and goodness.

Christians are encouraged to be devoted to one another in genuine love. This involves showing honour and respect to fellow believers, being hospitable, and actively caring for one another’s needs.

We should bless and not retaliate, instead of seeking revenge or responding in kind to those who do evil, believers are urged to bless them. This involves responding to hostility or mistreatment with acts of kindness and praying for their well-being.

We are to live in harmony with others. The passage emphasizes the importance of living in peace and harmony. Believers are encouraged to be humble, avoiding pride and arrogance, and seeking unity.

Supremely, we are challenged to overcome evil with good. Instead of being overwhelmed by evil, we are instructed to overcome evil with good. This means responding to evil deeds or intentions with acts of goodness, seeking to bring about positive change and transformation.

Overall, Romans 12:9-21 teaches the importance of living a life characterized by genuine love, rejecting evil, and actively pursuing peace and unity with others.

Christian Living (Romans 12:1-8)

Romans 12:1-8 (click the link to read) is a profound and transformative passage that offers invaluable guidance for Christian living. In these verses, the Apostle Paul addresses the believers in Rome, urging them to embrace a life of devotion, transformation, humility, unity, and service to the community of believers – but here is a message for all of us.

The passage begins with an earnest plea: “Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God – this is your true and proper worship.” Here, Paul implores believers to dedicate themselves entirely to God, not as lifeless offerings, but as living sacrifices. This act of devotion is portrayed as a response to God’s abundant mercy, representing a reasonable and spiritual form of worship.

Paul then instructs us not to be conformed to the patterns of the world, but to undergo a profound transformation by renewing our minds. This transformation is an integral aspect of Christian life, emphasizing the necessity of breaking free from the negative influences of the secular world and embracing God’s will and wisdom. It serves as a call to seek a deeper understanding of God’s purpose and to align our lives accordingly; accepting, including, and loving everyone with the very love of God.

Verse 3 underscores the importance of humility. Paul encourages us not to think of ourselves more highly than we ought, but to exercise sound judgment. This message promotes a posture of humility, acknowledging that all believers possess distinct gifts and roles within the body of Christ. By recognizing our individual limitations and strengths, we foster an environment of mutual respect and cooperation.

Verses 4-5 employ the metaphor of the body to illustrate the interconnectedness of believers. Just as a human body comprises many parts, each with its unique function, so does the Christian church. Each member possesses a distinctive role and spiritual gift, all indispensable for the proper functioning of the body. This vivid imagery underscores the need for unity within the Christian church community, where no member holds greater or lesser importance than another. The body metaphor highlights the interdependence of believers and encourages cooperation and support among them.

Paul continues by enumerating various spiritual gifts in verses 6-8, including prophecy, serving, teaching, encouraging, giving, leading, and showing mercy. These gifts are not granted for personal gain, but for the edification and strengthening of the body of Christ. Believers are encouraged to exercise their gifts faithfully and generously, recognizing that they are instruments through which God’s grace and love flow into the community.

These verses stand as a foundational and comprehensive passage outlining essential principles for Christian living. They call for wholehearted devotion to God, transformation through the renewal of the mind, humility in recognizing one’s role, unity within the Christian church community, and the responsible utilization of spiritual gifts. This passage serves as a guide for believers, promoting a life that not only glorifies God, but one that strengthens and enriches the Christian community, ultimately fulfilling the broader mission of the church in the world.

A Journey to Inclusion

There’s currently a lot of discussion about inclusion within my Christian faith community, as there is in many churches. Differing views are deeply felt and often strongly expressed.

After a journey of many years in Christian ministry, during which my understanding has deepened, I’ve arrived at the destination of supporting the full inclusion of LGBTQ+ people within all Christian churches.

This blog post is not an invitation to argue for or against my position, merely an opportunity for me to share my thoughts. This discussion can be conducted elsewhere.

I haven’t jumped onto a ‘fashionable’ bandwagon; seeking to score points, look good, or start an argument. For me, this a deeply human and faith conviction. All human beings need to be treated with respect. I’m simply seeking to be true to myself and God. Love and peace, John.

Speaking Generally

William Booth statue

I’m grateful to my friend Stephen Poxon (author and writer) for contributing this guest post about William Booth. You can find his books here.

William Booth: Founder of The Salvation Army, Christian evangelist, reformer, friend of royalty, champion of the marginalised, wit, entrepreneur, and master of the soundbite.

So far, so good, but we must remember that Booth was preaching his message and espousing his spiritual and moral philosophy before any of the advantages of modern communications technology could be exploited. His was an era of voice projection and oratory that went largely unaided except by, maybe, primitive devices for amplification.

All the more remarkable, therefore, is the fact that so many of William Booth’s quotations have survived into the present age. Granted, many were recorded by stenographers and biographers, but General Booth’s feat is still special, especially as much of his (prophetic?) wisdom retains a fresh touch.

Such as, for example, his utterance that there might come a time when the fires of scorching faith that burned within his bones would somehow become

“Religion without the Holy Ghost, Christianity without Christ, forgiveness without repentance, salvation without regeneration, politics without God, heaven without hell”.

Forgive the pun, but this is hot stuff; not for the faint-hearted (but then, faint-heartedness was a concept Booth never understood).

Was the old man right, though?

Take a look around. See for yourself a market-place swarming with pseudo-Christian philosophies (touchy-feely-feel-good mantras of consolation paraded in the name of some churches) and you might concede, he made a reasonable point! Denominations, I mean, that sometimes appear not to know their convictions from their desperate strivings to be ultra-relevant, and which, consequently (inevitably) dilute their ancient mandate to the point of it being nothing in particular and of little use to anyone.

And as for the penultimate utterance in Booth’s list of concerns, who can forget Alastair Campbell’s famous interruption of Tony Blair, reminding the then Prime Minister that “We don’t do God”?

How about this absolute corker:

“Don’t instil, or allow anybody else to instil into the hearts of your girls the idea that marriage is the chief end of life. If you do, don’t be surprised if they get engaged to the first empty, useless fool they come across.”

He wasn’t holding back, was he! Anyone voicing such opinions nowadays would be faced with any number of charges before they could say political correctness. Yet, allowing the dust to settle, we might just find ourselves agreeing with the outspoken warrior, albeit only grudgingly, on behalf of our children and grandchildren. Is it even possible we might only, eventually, accuse him of speaking downright common sense?

Try this one: “The greatness of the man’s power is the measure of his surrender”.

Notwithstanding the gender bias of the statement, how much does a contemporary age rail against notions of surrender, obedience, deference or conformity; in civil and legal matters, relationships, education, religion, societal structures, international political diplomacy, and the workplace (and so on)? Are we, can we honestly claim, the better for such prevailing tendencies and the tacit approval of creeping anarchy in the name of entitlement?

Read. Ponder. Agree. Disagree.