Staying Friends on Social Media

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The algorithms of social media often dictate that we live within an echo chamber of friends who share our outlook on life. But not everyone agrees with us, nor do we always agree with others. The old adage of ‘agreeing to disagree agreeably’ sometimes goes out of the window when passions run high, and social media can be a catalyst to entrench our opinions and polarise debate.

In an increasingly divisive society, we may need to relearn the concept of being nice, affirming each other and appreciating diversity.

When I post something on Facebook I expect disagreement, but I don’t expect rudeness. People can get so angry that others have a different, well-considered opinion from them, one that may be part of their very being.

Often on social media there is no engagement with the issue(s), just simply shouting an alternative opinion, with no concept of nuance in any discussion. We are not heard by shouting. There needs to be respect, both for ourselves and for others. It’s also perfectly acceptable to admit the merits of someone else’s position whilst not necessarily agreeing with it ourselves.

Please don’t think that I’m saying I’m perfect in this regard, I’m not. But I do feel we all need to take a careful and humble look at ourselves and how we respond to things posted on Facebook and social media generally.

Personally, I approach this as a person of faith, and so many of my attitudes, thoughts and actions derive from this and make me the person I am.

Paul writing to the Philippians says: Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

Here is the context of the whole passage, where Paul suggests we should have the same mindset as Christ Jesus. Be kind to each other.

Coming out as gay

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I write as a straight man, even though someone once found my website using the phrase ‘is john ager gay’, but also as someone who seeks to empathise and understand those who struggle with their sexuality and societal attitudes.

It came as a complete surprise when I heard this morning that Phillip Schofield had come out as gay, even if there were those who said they always knew.

Much has already been spoken and written about this, and I can’t possibly (nor do I intend to) cover all the issues raised by this announcement. However, I would like to raise questions of why it’s so difficult for people to come out, and why can’t people be allowed to be who they are in the first place?

I found a number of well-articulated comments on Twitter helpful in this important discussion and I leave them with you:

Owen Jones: It’s up to all LGBTQ people how or when or whether they come out. But when someone with a public platform comes out, it helps people who are struggling with their sexuality. Love and support to [Phillip Scofield]

Patrick Strudwick: Next year will be 30 yrs since I came out. (14, at my comprehensive school, it stopped me killing myself). To STILL see people trapped in the closet for decades before having desperate, highly-charged comings out reveals how little things have changed. We have so much more to do.

Sam Wise: [Phillip Schofield] grew up in a time when gay people didn’t have any rights and nobody can blame him for feeling he could not come out. Still today homophobia is alive in our society and people in the public eye feel they can’t be who they are…the fact that [he] has only felt able [to] come out now says more about our society than it does him. He’s made a courageous step today and the fact his wife and kids are right behind him with love and support is excellent.

Coming to terms with and being your authentic self is never easy, especially in the public eye. Phillip and his family deserve our love and support.

An Understanding Brexiter

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Even though I profoundly disagree with Conservative MP Steve Baker, he fully understands the sadness and sorrow Remainers are feeling today as the UK leaves the EU. “I will celebrate. I will allow myself a smile, I’ll allow myself that glass of champagne, I will enjoy myself. But I’ll celebrate discreetly, and I will celebrate in a way which is respectful of the genuine sorrow that others are feeling at the same time.” Thank you for your empathy and understanding.

Update: Since posting this a number of people have challenged me about this and why I’m praising an architect of Brexit. My reply: I’m not a Steve Baker fan, but his attitude towards today is a million times better than Farage. That’s all I’m saying.

Unseen Promise

The promise of a better life is a tempting offer. For those living in poverty, in even the most beautiful parts of the world, the dream of providing for your family becomes a constant and agonising ache.

In the Philippines, a sun-kissed paradise of more than 7,000 tropical islands, one in five people live in poverty and the luscious setting shrouds an ugliness which lies beneath the surface. Preying on the vulnerable, traffickers deceive and exploit, enticing people with the promise of dreams fulfilled.

People who are desperate to support those they love, believe the lies and accept opportunities to journey away from home unaware of the reality which awaits them. The promises remain unseen and the dreams remain unrealised.

Traffickers see people merely as commodities, ignoring the truth of who they are – children of God, full of promise and dearly loved by the One who created them.

The Salvation Army is raising awareness of the reality of trafficking, mobilising communities to protect themselves, supporting survivors and helping to improve opportunities at home so the drive to leave is lessened.

Through prevention, protection and partnership, we are supporting people to reclaim the promise that exists within them and rebuild their lives.

If you would like to donate to support this work, you can donate online at donate.salvationarmy.org.uk/anti-trafficking

If you want to connect with The Salvation Army International Development UK on social media you can find us on Facebook, YouTube, Twitter and Instagram. Follow to hear about new campaigns and updates from our projects. You can also find out more here.

See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! 1 John 3:1a

See also here: Hidden in Plain Sight