Resolutions anyone?

New Year's Resolutions

It’s said that New Year resolutions are a to-do list for the first week of January; we might smile, but many a true word is spoken in jest.

I asked some friends on Facebook for their thoughts on New Year resolutions, and I received some interesting responses:

I don’t bother making them.

I made one many years ago, it was never to make any more. I’ve stuck to it.

I make the same one every year and break it at that exact moment. I resolve to not make any New Year Resolutions.

Are they not just a bit of a joke? I’ve never taken them seriously. I find making small goals throughout the year is a lot easier.

I see them as a declaration of good intent, sometimes purposeful but often lacking in any real commitment.

If you want to achieve something, and you are serious about it, simply set the goal whether it is New Year or not.

One of my friends followed up their initial comment with these helpful words:
I do see January as a time to start afresh and perhaps pick up things that have been dropped throughout the year. So, for example, I’m planning on starting running again having let it slip through autumn and winter. But I don’t like the pressure of New Year resolutions and the feeling of failure for having set unrealistic goals because of the apparent expectation of society to do so.

If we are going to make resolutions, we need to be realistic and set achievable goals, describing them in specific terms. Maybe large goals are best split into smaller ones, with a planned starting date and time period. It might be helpful just to focus on one or two things, rather than a whole list. Ultimately it’s about aiming for things that are important to you, not what you think you ought to do or what others expect of you. See also here.

As for my resolutions, get back into the habit of running and aim for better sleep.

Thank you Hannah, Tris, Leanne, Mark, Paul, Stephen and Emlyn for your thoughts.

Remember New Year Resolutions?

800px-New-Year_Resolutions_list

Do you remember your New Year Resolutions? Yes, I know they soon get forgotten, but the start of September is a good time to review them (or any month actually).

For me, family life is very precious, as I’ve written about here. My New Year resolutions for 2018 reflected this, and I’ve tried to do justice to them: Look after myself better and sleep well (so I can be there my family and work smarter). Spend quality time with family every day. Live in the moment and worry less. Effective planning and organising in my personal and work life. Run twice a week.

I’ve not totally succeeded, but I remind myself that every day is an opportunity for a fresh start – not just at the start of the year.

On Being an Older Father

39900405_224745505057336_6326152863235964928_n

Having two grown-up children and approaching sixty years of age, it never crossed my mind that I might become a father again; but that was until I met Naomi and a loving relationship developed, with the full knowledge that she wanted children (astute readers will have deduced she’s much younger than me).

Just over five years later, we are happily married with three wonderful children, and I’m the age in the title of a well-known Beatles’ song! Some might question the twenty-seven year age difference between us, but all I can say is that it works for us and we are a very happy and loving family.

When people find out I have three young children at my age, they say I’m either brave or stupid – possible even both, and I sometimes think that myself. Seriously though, I’m truly loving having the wonderful privilege and sacred responsibility of bringing up a family for the second time. Whilst having three children close together is not easy at times, I especially enjoy seeing the interactions between them (this is new for me as there are six years between my two older children).

It’s said that age is just a number and that you’re only as old as you feel, but clearly my age will increasingly be an issue as the years go by. Even though tomorrow is not guaranteed for anyone, statistically I won’t be around for as long as most parents could expect to be in the children’s future. On the other hand, people tell me I don’t look my age and I keep myself fit (mainly by healthy eating and running), and both my father and his father lived in relatively good health until their late 80s.

I remind myself regularly it’s the quality of the time I spend with my family that’s important for their personal development and formative years, and I’m making a special effort to live in the present and make the most of every moment; although I sometimes wonder how they will react when they’re old enough to realise I’m older than most other fathers. I’m certainly not going to have a ‘normal’ (if there is such a thing) retirement.

They say that inside every man is a nine-year-old boy constantly trying to get out, and that’s probably true, but I like to think my ‘advanced’ years have given me a measure of life experience and wisdom I didn’t have the first time around. Having said that, nothing really prepares you to be a parent, and so even second time around I’m realistic (and hopefully humble) enough to recognise I’m still learning and don’t have all the answers. Mind you, if you want an expert on wiping bums and changing nappies – I’m your man!