Everyday Sexism

The path - Dublin, Ireland - Black and white street photography

A news item on BBC News caught my eye today: An “alarmingly high” number of girls and young women feel unsafe outside their home, according to annual research for Girlguiding UK. The survey of 1,903 13 to 21-year-olds in the UK found nearly two-thirds either felt unsafe, or knew someone who was fearful walking home alone.

It reminded me of the Everyday Sexism project which exists to catalogue instances of sexism experienced on a day to day basis. They might be serious or minor, outrageously offensive or so niggling and normalised that you don’t even feel able to protest. It encourages women to share their stories to show the world that sexism does exist, that it is faced by women everyday and that it is a valid problem to discuss.

It’s a sad state of affairs that millions of women and girls are sick and tired of constantly being treated with disrespect as they simply try to live their lives.

But what is the answer? Firstly, to take the issue seriously. Secondly, to listen to what girls and women are saying and feeling. Lastly, to teach boys (and remind men) to treat everyone with respect and not abuse positions of power.

Photo Credit: https://www.flickr.com/photos/giuseppemilo/22951197762

Essential Albums and Musicians

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I use the opportunities that driving with the family provides to introduce my young children (well mainly Freddy aged 3 at the moment) to great music. This morning it was the classic Pet Sounds by The Beach Boys, previously we’ve listened to The Beatles and a few others.

I’ll probably leave it a while before introducing them to Metallica and Radiohead, for example, but what would you suggest is essential music they should be hearing at an early age? Not necessarily your favourites, but essential classics, albums and musicians. I look forward to your suggestions.

Where does the time go?

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It’s second time around for me having young children, and I absolutely love seeing Freddy and Matilda (not forgetting Pollyanna) grow and develop.

Here are some obligatory photos outside our front door leaving for nursery; Freddy returning to his existing one in the mornings and then moving to the school nursery on the same site in the afternoons (hence the uniform), and for Matilda it’s a new experience altogether, but she’ll have Freddy with her in the mornings.

There were no tears from either of them as we left; Freddy was listening to a story and Matilda was playing, she just smiled and waved bye-bye! Happy days.

End of the day update: Matilda was a little upset an hour and a half after Freddy had left for the school nursery, but that’s understandable on her first day. Freddy enjoyed the day so much he didn’t want to leave! So, all things considered, a good day.

Remember New Year Resolutions?

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Do you remember your New Year Resolutions? Yes, I know they soon get forgotten, but the start of September is a good time to review them (or any month actually).

For me, family life is very precious, as I’ve written about here. My New Year resolutions for 2018 reflected this, and I’ve tried to do justice to them: Look after myself better and sleep well (so I can be there my family and work smarter). Spend quality time with family every day. Live in the moment and worry less. Effective planning and organising in my personal and work life. Run twice a week.

I’ve not totally succeeded, but I remind myself that every day is an opportunity for a fresh start – not just at the start of the year.

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On Being an Older Father

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Having two grown-up children and approaching sixty years of age, it never crossed my mind that I might become a father again; but that was until I met Naomi and a loving relationship developed, with the full knowledge that she wanted children (astute readers will have deduced she’s much younger than me).

Just over five years later, we are happily married with three wonderful children, and I’m the age in the title of a well-known Beatles’ song! Some might question the twenty-seven year age difference between us, but all I can say is that it works for us and we are a very happy and loving family.

When people find out I have three young children at my age, they say I’m either brave or stupid – possible even both, and I sometimes think that myself. Seriously though, I’m truly loving having the wonderful privilege and sacred responsibility of bringing up a family for the second time. Whilst having three children close together is not easy at times, I especially enjoy seeing the interactions between them (this is new for me as there are six years between my two older children).

It’s said that age is just a number and that you’re only as old as you feel, but clearly my age will increasingly be an issue as the years go by. Even though tomorrow is not guaranteed for anyone, statistically I won’t be around for as long as most parents could expect to be in the children’s future. On the other hand, people tell me I don’t look my age and I keep myself fit (mainly by healthy eating and running), and both my father and his father lived in relatively good health until their late 80s.

I remind myself regularly it’s the quality of the time I spend with my family that’s important for their personal development and formative years, and I’m making a special effort to live in the present and make the most of every moment; although I sometimes wonder how they will react when they’re old enough to realise I’m older than most other fathers. I’m certainly not going to have a ‘normal’ (if there is such a thing) retirement.

They say that inside every man is a nine-year-old boy constantly trying to get out, and that’s probably true, but I like to think my ‘advanced’ years have given me a measure of life experience and wisdom I didn’t have the first time around. Having said that, nothing really prepares you to be a parent, and so even second time around I’m realistic (and hopefully humble) enough to recognise I’m still learning and don’t have all the answers. Mind you, if you want an expert on wiping bums and changing nappies – I’m your man!

Eureka!

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The exclamation ‘Eureka!’ was allegedly uttered by the ancient Greek scholar Archimedes as he got into a bath and noticed the water level rise, suddenly realising the volume of water displaced must be equal to the volume of the part of his body submerged. Consequently, Eureka (Greek: Εύρηκα) has become an interjection used to celebrate a discovery or invention.

It’s also the name of The National Children’s Museum in Halifax which I visited with my family today. We first visited earlier in the year, but thought it was about time for a return visit; especially because you ‘pay once, then play for a year’ with an annual pass. There’s lots of interactive fun for all ages of children, and adults are not admitted unless accompanied by a child – so it’s a safe space.

The focus is on learning through play. It’s run as an educational charity and not-for-profit organisation. It’s aimed at families with children aged 0–11 and encourages hands-on inter-generational learning.

We had a great day, even though it was a long drive, and can wholeheartedly recommend it. No doubt we’ll be there again before our passes expire.