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I was really shocked and upset this morning to find out that Trevor Cologne (one of my Facebook friends in Australia) had died by suicide. He wrestled with mental health issues, and seems to have been failed by the Australian health system. I sent love, thoughts and prayers to all his family and friends. I didn’t know him in real life, but he was a great bloke and I’d have met up with him over coffee had I ever been in Adelaide!

It prompted me to post on Facebook: It’s about time mental illness is accepted as simply another physical illness. I’m not aware that the brain is unconnected to the rest of the body! Quite a discussion followed! Unfortunately you can’t put a bandage on mental illness, or a plaster for everyone to write their best wishes on, yet it’s very real and debilitating. But, because of the stigma that still surrounds mental health issues, those of us who experience them have a dilemma – do we keep them to ourselves or be honest about them with other people in order to aid understanding. Sadly, I lost followers on Twitter when I tweeted about my bipolar condition. I’ve only recently ‘outed’ myself because I realised I was contributing to the stigma and misunderstanding by hiding it. Anyone who thinks less of me as a result clearly has an issue they should seriously think about. Millions of normal people have mental health issues – get over it!

Since diagnosis 8 or 9 years ago I’ve only shared it selectively because I haven’t wanted people to treat me any differently. But I’ve found it difficult living with the basic contradiction at the heart of the matter. It hasn’t prevented me from working or fulfilling my vocation, but it’s a struggle at times. My condition makes me the person I am, I’m just a normal bloke – to which my true friends can jokingly answer (without hesitation) “Yeah, who are you kidding!”

Note: I’ve used the expression ‘died by suicide’ because this is a far better way of describing suicide than the conventional usage. To ‘commit suicide’ harks back to a time when suicide was a crime and considered a sin by the church, it therefore inherently conveys a negative connotation of judgement.

Also, never say to someone who you think may be contemplating suicide, “You’ll won’t do anything stupid, will you?” – it’s such a dumb question, who’s going to say ‘Yes’ in reply? It’ll only make them feel worse about themselves! Just ask them if they feel suicidal! My view is that avoiding the issues, or dressing them up never helps! It’s also OK to approach and ask complete strangers if you feel they’re in danger! And, as a friend reminded me, asking someone if they feel suicidal won’t put the idea in their head if it’s not already there. Don’t be scared to ask!

See also: Yeah, I’ve got issues! #whatstigma

The start of International Women’s Week was marked by the University of Leicester Feminist Group, who gathered on a bridge in Abbey Park on a damp Saturday afternoon. It was part of Women for Women’s Join Me on the Bridge campaign, in which men and women stand together on bridges all over the world in order to show support for women in war-torn areas. They met up at the University and walked to Abbey Park with banners publicising the cause, they read out a statement on the bridge, and urged people to sign a petition to Foreign Secretary William Hague calling for the involvement of women in the Afghanistan peace negotiations in order to assure they have ‘an equal voice in determining their future, and the future of their country’.

Women for Women International provides women survivors of war, civil strife and other conflicts with the tools and resources to move from crisis and poverty to stability and self-sufficiency, thereby promoting viable civil societies. Their aim is to change the world one woman at a time. This year marks the 100th anniversary of International Women’s Day on 8 March 2011.

100 years ago brave women stood up and changed the world for so many of us. Today, there are equally brave women standing up for equality in Afghanistan. Now is our chance to get behind them and help bring peace and greater security to these women. Women in Afghanistan must be fully included in the peace negotiations. Peace without women doesn’t stand a chance, and the time to build peace is now – before the troops start withdrawing in June 2011. We’re not asking for any new policies or laws. They already exist. We have UN Resolution 1325, and we have the Millennium Development Goals. It’s time to act, and we’re calling for everyone who wants to make a stand against the brutalities inflicted on women in Afghanistan (and in areas of conflict around the world) to join us on a bridge on the 100th anniversary of International Women’s Day. Kate Nustedt, Executive Director of Women for Women UK.

…this is Part 2 of a post by Adam Howie. Click here for Part 1.

Staring into the abyss

So, let’s say the idea has come, the muses have whispered their sweet musings into my mind’s eye and I have an idea, but now comes the greatest enemy of creation (well second, apathy/inertia is probably the biggest), the blank page. The void, the abyss if you will, where nothing yet exists on the page (ignoring the scientific view of the microorganisms, or the atomic structure, of the mind warping reality of the quantum world within… ahem…I digress). The blank page is always daunting I think, especially if the idea is still forming. I also do art live in stage during events and sometimes inspiration does not strike at all leading up to the event (or worse I don’t know what to expect) and as it begins all I have are paints and a blank canvas. At one of my art courses I was taught, if you have a blank canvas and no idea how to start throw down some colour, or something, to start the process and remove the blank canvas. It’s strange but sometime just putting down a background of colour or texture is enough to ignite the inspiration. Effectively it removes the nothing and replaces it with something… kinda. Once started the process fuels itself but sometimes the fuel runs out and I am slowly learning that a good habit is to sometimes stop and leave a piece for a while and then return to it later with fresh ideas.

Walk away, just walk away…

One of the biggest things that I struggle with is when to stop. When is enough, enough? With my digital works I have a bit of a security blanket as I have the undo function. With paints/inks/etc it’s a lot harder, a mistake or doing too much could result in total failure (or at least a less effective piece). I am trying to learn when, in the words of my cooking sensei Alton Brown to “walk away, just walk away” and accept that enough has been done. For me the creative process doesn’t end, I tend not to “finish” a piece; I just have to leave it. Either because there Is nothing more I can do, or want to do, but that piece will stay with me and it will be used either to inspire another piece or when I have more skill and understanding I can perhaps revisit it and recreate it inspired by the old one and bringing new life to in a new piece.

So yeah, that’s a very quick look at creative inspiration and me, it’s something that I think will change, and evolve as I do. It comes and goes like the tides, and at times it feels like it’s so very far away.

Well I should do some plugging since I am here…

If you would like to see any of my work you can. See my work at my website: www.illusionaryconstructs.com or visit my personal blog: www.realityofdreams.org.uk which has links to most of the places that I haunt on the web, including where my work is for sale, such as, Redbubble: www.redbubble.com/people/lurchkimded

Thanks to John for the space on his blog and the opportunity to write this, hope it made sense and was an enjoyable read for you. Catch ya all on the flip side, laters.

…or how I wish I learned to stop worrying and just draw already!

I suppose since this is a guest post I should say hi before I delve in… Hi!

What? OK, a bit more of an introduction then, my name is Adam Howie, although I often go by the nickname Kimded online, and I am, for better or worse, an artist. John has been kind enough to give me some space on his blog to blether about my art and my inspiration/motivation behind it. In many ways this is not a “how to be inspired” or “how to be creative” post, there are way better courses, blogs, and the like out there for that, this is just a guy trying to explain what goes on in his head. Hopefully this will be at the very least interesting, and perhaps helpful to some. This of course means that I’ve been trying to figure out how best to do write this, and since I am a preacher’s son, it shall be a three point blog post.

But before I begin… well it’s a bit late for that but anyway, probably good to set out what I think about being creative and its place in our lives. I firmly believe that humanity is a creative species; we have an innate drive to create and appreciate created things. This desire takes many forms, painting, music, architecture, engineering, science, relationships, and so much more.  An odd list to be sure but in each of these there is found, when it is at its highest zenith, creativity, and creation. So I see art as only being a part of the larger act of creativity we can do, but it’s the one I shall be focusing on here. So yeah, a brief exploration of creative inspiration and me…

Finding Me… I mean, Inspiration

So, where do I find inspiration? Well the short answer is that, for me, inspiration is everywhere. Some of my art work is inspired by scripture verses, songs, lyrics, scientific theories, and quotes. A lot of it comes from various places and stews and simmers in my mind and then one thing with suddenly cause the various thoughts and ideas to coalesce into a distinct idea.

For me there is also a kind of tangential inspiration, those things that fuel these creative nexuses but not directly. Mainly this comes from looking at other people’s artworks and allowing their style, their use of colour, technique, and even what they have used to represent the ideas they are trying to convey to influence me and create new links in my mind. Also music is a great fuel for the creative fires for me; I almost always have music on when I am painting. I suppose in some ways it’s a noise that keeps my brain from running off to wildly or jumping around too much, as it has want to do. Even writing this I find myself jumping between writing, surfing, tweeting, and other things… just the way what counts as my mind works I guess.

I have been going to various art courses since deciding (perhaps foolishly) to try and make a living being an artist, these courses have been great for fuelling the background to inspiration as well as giving ideas for jump starting the creative process. One thing that I have found key is always having a pen or pencil and a sketchbook with me. If I get an idea almost no matter when or where (within reason of course) I try and do a quick sketch or even just jot down some notes. Of course I still need to do this more and develop the habit of sketching things I see for reference of later inspiration.

Click here for Part 2

I was up bright and early this morning to cycle to Leicester Cathedral for a bi-monthly breakfast at 7.30 am. Invitations from the cathedral team go out to people who work in the city centre as an opportunity to network, listen to a guest speaker and ask questions. This morning’s guest speaker was Aatin Anadkat, the managing director of Hotel Maiyango in Leicester. He has a commitment to the local economy, and has built links with educational establishments and community groups. Aatin likes to give young people a chance, and is involved in training them to work in teams at the highest quality. His interesting talk showed a passion for supporting suppliers and services in Leicester. It’s good to regularly meet people who are so positive about what can be done to improve the life of the city.

As I mentioned yesterday, the Phoenix Square Film & Digital Media Centre hosted the first DocFilm Festival in Leicester today and, as I write this, it’s still happening until 11.30 pm with live music! It was organised by my friend John Coster and Citizens Eye, and I was pleased to be involved in a very small way – I helped to put up posters! It was an energising day; creatively, culturally, socially and physically (I cycled there and back).

The Phoenix Centre is an excellent venue for events such as this, one large and one medium sized cinemas, a more compact film room and many other user-friendly rooms. A variety of documentary films were on show during the day, from shorts (some less than 10 minutes) through to full-length features. The main film I saw was A Crude Awakening: The Oil Crash which presented a stark vision of the world as we run out of cheap oil.

The first short I watched was entitled Leicester Diversity, something I’ve experienced first hand since moving here. Leicester is a wonderful place to live, and a wide range of national statistics back this up. A Zimbabwean political refugee described how he escaped Mugabe’s regime, arrived in London and eventually settled in Leicester. He described it as the quietest (?) and best place he’d lived. Manjula Sood praised Leicester’s diversity and encouraged communities to believe in themselves and celebrate their different cultures.

This was followed by a film that expressed hope for people with a disability through a beautiful song. The basic message was that the main character was born on a different side of life, but he felt the same as anyone else! Stars reach out and tell us there’s always one escape. We made our lives on wasteland, as through the barricades. The film ended with him finding love and fulfilment in life.

A documentary about life on a Leicester estate since 1945 followed. It showed the effects of economic policies and trends on family life over those years, and the focus was particularly on the Thatcher years and the resultant poverty and despair. The next film was more uplifting, and it was good to have the film-makers, fathers and children featured in the audience. It presented very positive role-models for fathers and their children, and I found it refreshing.

To be continued…

On Saturday 22 January 2011 the Phoenix Square Film & Digital Media Centre (Leicester) is hosting the first DocFilm Festival in the city. This is being organised by my friend John Coster and Citizens Eye. If you live in Leicester, maybe you can come along for all or part of the day. It runs from 11:30 to 23:30, and there is live music in the evening. Plans are already in hand for the DocFilm Festival in 2012 over 3 days!

When people call me a geek I take it as a term of endearment, as a badge of honour! In my case it’s generally related to computers, but there’s a wide range of meaning with which I identify. As I’ve suggested, it’s often considered as a pejorative, but the term is also used self-referentially as a source of pride!

My friend Chris Hinton runs a site called Geek-Speak which is devoted to all things geek! He says about it: Why isn’t there a “geeks anonymous” group around here? You know, something to help people with an unnatural interest in technology, cables, and sci-fi manage their habit? The kind of people who would buy a soldering iron just because they didn’t have one and might need to solder something one day…

If you recognise yourself in this description, now would be a good time to check out his site!

Receiving a belated Christmas card and present in the post this morning made my day! You know who are are, and you know me well! I also appreciated the home made and thoughtful card. Thank you! My brief (in less than 140 characters) bio describes me as a Salvation Army Officer who likes computers, Radiohead and F1. The present reflects two of these interests: it’s a sports car shaped computer mouse! Funny thing is, I’m listening to Radiohead as I write this!

In response to my previous post, a friend sent me this! Thank you William! Hopefully I can sleep now!